Business lies but not resume lies

How many times are you told that you must tell the whole truth when writing your resume and at job interviews.
If you listen to some people talk, you would think lying on resumes is on the same level of crime as murder. Always tell the truth or you will be damned for ever.

Last night on British TV, there was a rags to riches story. There was a guy who is now a multi millionaire having sold his RECRUITMENT business having built it up from nothing twenty years ago.

He told the story of how, when he first started, he wanted to have an office in the best part of London, TO GIVE THE IMPRESSION (another way of saying lie) that his was a big established company.
He managed to rent a room that was nothing more than a broom cupboard in a large office block.

It was so small that when he opened the door to go in, it hit the desk and he had to squeeze between the wall and the desk to get to his chair.

Now this is the point. When customers came to call, the reception desk would ring him to say he he had a client. Obviously he could not receive his visitor in his office. So, he would go down to the reception and explain to the client that because his company was so busy, all the meeting rooms were full. Then he would suggest that they have their meeting over a coffee in The Ritz Hotel which was just a short walk away.

Now, this guy is very proud of this story. And so he should be. It showed ingenuity and determination. He built up a network of 100 worldwide offices and became a leader in the recruitment field.

But the bottom line is HE LIED to his clients. And everyone thinks that's okay. And so do I.

But why is it that when you go for a job and you dare to tell lies, you are treated with such disdain?
It's totally hypocitical. As usual, it's okay for the big guys to do it but the normal Joe Soap like you and I are like lambs to the slaughter.

Wise up. If you have to lie on your resume or lie at an interview to get a job, do it.

What qualities do you bring to this job?

To answer this question, you need to have looked at the job ad for clues.
If it says, "The applicant needs to have several years experience in a similar field".

You would answer, "I have worked in this industry for several years and have gained good experience".

If the ad says, "The successful candidate needs to have problem solving abilities and be able to work as a team member". Guess what your reply should be?

Thats right. "I have a very enquiring mind and I like challenges. I am at my best when I have to solve problems".
And.
"I can work quite happily on my own if the need arises, but I do prefer to work in a team environment".

See this is not rocket science. The mantra you should live by whether applying for a job or in fact in any facet of your life is,"Tell them what they want to hear".

Interview question and answer

Why did you leave your last job?

If you are still employed, this is irrelevant, but you are unlikely to get off the hook that easily.
They will ask why you want to leave.

If the truth is that you are a lazy git and your boss has made it clear that if you don't change your attitude you are going to be shown the door.
Obviously you are not going to even think about telling the truth are you?


A good answer is something like, "My present position doesn't give me the challenge that I am looking for in a job.
I like to be tested. I work best under pressure.
My present (or last) one isn't demanding enough".

This answer presents you as a go getter, an achiever.

Funny Resume

Here are some answers give on a resume for a job in Walmart.
They are from a 75 year old man. The company thought it was so funny they employed him.

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who
will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can
haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more
intimate environment .

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be
here?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be
'Do you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may
already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they
tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde
supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually,
I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST
OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.