Business lies but not resume lies

How many times are you told that you must tell the whole truth when writing your resume and at job interviews.
If you listen to some people talk, you would think lying on resumes is on the same level of crime as murder. Always tell the truth or you will be damned for ever.

Last night on British TV, there was a rags to riches story. There was a guy who is now a multi millionaire having sold his RECRUITMENT business having built it up from nothing twenty years ago.

He told the story of how, when he first started, he wanted to have an office in the best part of London, TO GIVE THE IMPRESSION (another way of saying lie) that his was a big established company.
He managed to rent a room that was nothing more than a broom cupboard in a large office block.

It was so small that when he opened the door to go in, it hit the desk and he had to squeeze between the wall and the desk to get to his chair.

Now this is the point. When customers came to call, the reception desk would ring him to say he he had a client. Obviously he could not receive his visitor in his office. So, he would go down to the reception and explain to the client that because his company was so busy, all the meeting rooms were full. Then he would suggest that they have their meeting over a coffee in The Ritz Hotel which was just a short walk away.

Now, this guy is very proud of this story. And so he should be. It showed ingenuity and determination. He built up a network of 100 worldwide offices and became a leader in the recruitment field.

But the bottom line is HE LIED to his clients. And everyone thinks that's okay. And so do I.

But why is it that when you go for a job and you dare to tell lies, you are treated with such disdain?
It's totally hypocitical. As usual, it's okay for the big guys to do it but the normal Joe Soap like you and I are like lambs to the slaughter.

Wise up. If you have to lie on your resume or lie at an interview to get a job, do it.

What qualities do you bring to this job?

To answer this question, you need to have looked at the job ad for clues.
If it says, "The applicant needs to have several years experience in a similar field".

You would answer, "I have worked in this industry for several years and have gained good experience".

If the ad says, "The successful candidate needs to have problem solving abilities and be able to work as a team member". Guess what your reply should be?

Thats right. "I have a very enquiring mind and I like challenges. I am at my best when I have to solve problems".
And.
"I can work quite happily on my own if the need arises, but I do prefer to work in a team environment".

See this is not rocket science. The mantra you should live by whether applying for a job or in fact in any facet of your life is,"Tell them what they want to hear".

Interview question and answer

Why did you leave your last job?

If you are still employed, this is irrelevant, but you are unlikely to get off the hook that easily.
They will ask why you want to leave.

If the truth is that you are a lazy git and your boss has made it clear that if you don't change your attitude you are going to be shown the door.
Obviously you are not going to even think about telling the truth are you?


A good answer is something like, "My present position doesn't give me the challenge that I am looking for in a job.
I like to be tested. I work best under pressure.
My present (or last) one isn't demanding enough".

This answer presents you as a go getter, an achiever.

Funny Resume

Here are some answers give on a resume for a job in Walmart.
They are from a 75 year old man. The company thought it was so funny they employed him.

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who
will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can
haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more
intimate environment .

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be
here?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be
'Do you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may
already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they
tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde
supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually,
I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST
OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

How to answer interview questions

If you keep following this blog over the next few weeks, you will be able to build up a list of answers to typical interview questions.

Today we shall start with , "Why do you want this job"?

If you were truthful you would maybe say, "I have been out of work for six months and I am so desperate I will take anything thats offered, even this crummy low paid dead end position".

But, as we know, you don't tell the whole truth at interviews.

You must tell them what they want to hear.
A better bulls**t answer would be, "I have admired your company for many years and have always wanted to work here..
I think that it offers me the chance to develop my career further".

Or

"I have heard lots of good things about your company and and when I saw the ad for this job I was really excited and felt it was too good an opportunity to miss".

Better not give them the answer one of my friends gave. "It's dead handy. I just live round the corner".

From now on this blog is going to be devoted to helping you get a job by using every trick in the book.
If you can get your dream job by totally honest means, ie. telling the whole truth, then great. Do it.
But telling the whole truth isn't alway the best idea.

Remember eighty percent of job seekers falsify their resumes and lie at interviews.
This blog is here to help you if you wish to be one of them.

For a few ideas to get you started, go to
http://www.resumetricks.info

There is also a free ebook you can download by going to

http://www.resumetricks.info/Articles/FormSubmission.php

The only time you should lie to get a job

The only time you should lie to get a job is when you know you can actually do it.

It is totally pointless trying to get a job for which you have no experience or qualifications.

Even if you manage to get it, you won’t be able to actually do it, so it so you will get found out pretty quickly.

Imagine if you tried to get a job a bus driver and you couldn’t drive!

Not only is that a completely stupid thing to do, it is incredibly dangerous.

Trying for a computer operator’s job is a waste of everybody’s time if you don’t know a mouse from a monitor.

If you are asked any basic questions about a job that you have never done or know nothing about, you are dead in the water.

So then, lying in order to get a job should never be done in any circumstances. Right?

Well actually it’s wrong according to surveys which suggest the majority of us do it.

It depends on which type of occupation you look at. There are some where the vast majority of all applicants bend the truth to some extent on their resumes or at interviews.

The official line about lying on a resume or at an interview is that it is frowned upon by all employers and employment agencies.

But can lying ever be justified?

Of course it can.

Just ask the millions who do it every year.

So what if you omit some details from your resume. It’s all about presentation.

If you can do the job, it’s your task to persuade the interviewer that you can.

If there is some piece of your work history that is not relevant to the job you are applying for and you think would not help you get it, then why include it.

The official line is, your potential employer needs every bit of information about you down to the last detail. Why?

Okay, if you have been to prison for two years, that is significant. Omitting that would not be advisable.

But if you had a job in as a waiter and your are a qualified accountant, why would you want to include that?

If you are a great at your job and you know for a fact you could do the job, in whose interests is it that you put it in your resume?

If you were successful in getting the post, and in two years time your employer found out about your lying, do you think he would fire you if you were doing a brilliant job?

Possible, but highly unlikely.

But what if you had brought it up earlier Do you think it might have swayed his judgement and given the job to some other candidate?

Possible and likely.

So in the end, it means sometimes it helps both parties if you bend the truth just a little.